Plan me in advance 'cause I am busy

After you move to Denmark, you will have a lot of challenges to overcome if you want to socialize with the locals. First of all they are a little skittish and hard to talk to in public spaces. There is a lot of them, but they keep their head down, are absorbed with their devices and they like to keep their distance. Even if one manages to overcome the first obstacle, their language is hard to understand and even harder to speak as a tiny mispronunciation can lead to complete misunderstanding. 

While working, which is their favorite activity, they want to talk work but they are hard to extend work relationship outside of the work place. And after they leave the work area, if they are not in public spaces they are unusually hard to find. It is like they disappear. If you are really hell bent on socializing with them, you need to find them first without invading their private residences because that will make them even more skittish. So where are they hiding? 

Most likely they are hiding in some organized union involved in some activities that people in the union find fun. So, next logical step is to think about your favorite activity, google it, find out if it exists in your place of residence, see where and when it is being organized and go there.

You may think that it is over now since you are socializing with the locals but, trust me, you are barely scratching the surface. For now, what you are doing is only participating in the activity that you all like to share. But forming a closer relationship will take some time. One reason is that most of the conversations will revolve around the activity you are involved with.

They call it the significant third. It is an activity which everyone enjoys and which serves as a connecting tissue for the people who are gathered around it. So, what happens is that the significant third is an easy topic that comes naturally but going beyond it is a bit hard. But I guess that for you extroverts out there it is a bit easier.

So, you have successfully overcame all the above mentioned challenges and you have found a person you would like to hang out with. Then you are over, right? Wrong! Now you need to fit into his or her schedule, and that is much harder then you think. Danes plan everything and they plan it far into the future. Christmas planning starts a day after Christmas. Family gatherings are planed couple of weeks in advance. In Denmark nothing is spontaneous. Spur of the moment activities are virtually non existent and the absolute worst thing that you can do to a Dane is to cancel an appointment or just barge in unannounced. That makes them go completely ballistics. They will rage! In silence of course because emotional expressions outside of funerals are illegal.

Now you have yourself a potential friend. Be vary though, if he invites you to his home, do not bring presents, you may scare him away.

Insurance insanity

Two weeks ago on a Wednesday I had an opportunity to witness an event that was completely blown out of proportions, at least in our case.

The building where we currently live has a basement with a garage and in that basement residents have storage spaces that belong to the apartments. Most of those storage spaces are completely full. They look like there is enough stuff inside that their respective owners could completely equip one more apartment.

But our doesn't and that is the most important thing in this story. Our storage space is almost completely empty. The stuff we used to keep in our storage space is the following:
 

- 4× car tires
- 2x bike tires
- 2x canisters of stuff used for the balcony maintenance
- couple of moving boxes
- one dirty ancient blanket that was in the box
 

So, one weekend Luci calls me after a short day at work and says: "Our landlord just called. There was a flood in our basement. Can you please come done with the key for our storage unit. We need to empty it so they can clean it."
 

So, I went down and was expecting a total disaster in the basement. And then there wasn't any. I mean there was, a bit. The air had a wonderful sewage smell but everything was looking as it usually does. So I thought, ok there was a bit of a sewage spillage but obviously it wasn't a lot since the drainage took care of it. We came to our storage unit and the co-owner of the building was there. He told us what I expected. Sewage spilled a bit but the drainage took care of it, so other then the lovely smell and a bit of poop on our car tires there wasn't much else.
 

And then he started talking to Luci about the insurance. He said that she should call her insurance to see if they would cover for the damages. And it wasn't something mentioned once, no he was grilling her about it for good twenty minutes. I was seriously surprised with that. While he was saying it, we were standing right next to our storage unit, that stood there as empty as I described it, with the only things that can be reused being the tires and the two canisters but all of that can just be rinsed with water. At a point I started thinking that the man must be blind since we are standing, now, right next to our almost empty storage unit while he is ranting about insurance covering for the damages. Damages of what? Plus even if we did have something of value in the storage unit, it is his building in which we live and where the sewage failed, so it should be first and foremost his responsibility to cover for the damages and not ours.
 

So, at least 20 minutes of my life went on that pointless rant. But unfortunately, Luci took him seriously and she called her insurance company and she started asking: "how much did you pay for the bike tires, how much did you pay for the car tires...etc"
 

After approximately half an hour and her call being rerouted three times or more, she finally came to her senses and said: "I am not doing this. We will rinse the tires and the containers with water and put them back and we will throw out everything else" So we did that.
 

But truth be told, we should feel lucky that we are not hoarders and that there was nothing of value in our storage unit. I do feel for other residents. Most of the other storage units were full to the top. And all that stuff smelled beautifully and some of it got damaged. They should hope so that the insurance will cover for it.

Minimalism for the win!

Feed meeee, for I am starving!

About a month ago we were going to Herning for a weekend and our schedule was packed as it usually is. Herning is my girlfriends home town where she grew up and lived until couple of years ago so she wants to cram as many events as she possibly can in those two and a half days that we have. Plus she wanted to take me to Randers Regnskov.


So, we went to the "Danish Amazon" first and then to her friends place. And it was great, all of it! Randers Regnskov was a very unique experience and the conversation with her friend is always interesting. He is very insightful and sharp. We were sleeping at her moms place and we arrived there late, around 23:30. Even though it was a great day, I went to bed starving. The last time I had something to eat was around 2 o'clock in the afternoon. It was the first thing we did when we arrived to Randers Regnskov.


Why was I starving later? I was starving because the arrangements we made with her friend and her mom did not explicitly include eating. So no one offered and I didn't ask so I went hungry.


But why didn't I ask for food you might wonder? Well, one part of the reason is personal, I am a bit shy and I do not want to be an inconvenience to others. Other part is cultural. I come from a culture that is all about hospitality towards your guests. When you visit someone in Croatia after a minute or two of small-talk you will be shown to the room where socializing will take place and after another minute or two you will be asked what will you have for a drink? Even if the deal did not include food, there would be snacks and the host could ask you if you want to eat something real.


During the whole visit you will be catered all the time. The hosts will be serving drinks, snacks and food and they will be taking away used up plates and glasses. Guests in Croatia are treated as kings. Last summer when we visited my parents, at the beginning my girlfriend had a bit of a hard time with that custom because she is used to help out with stuff like that, especially with the dishes after the meal is over. So hospitality customs in Croatian and Danish cultures are very far away from each other.


When you are visiting Danes it can vary a lot based on what the arrangement is. So, on the day when I went starving, the arrangement was that we are going for a VISIT at her friends place. It was meant to be just talking. We came, we started talking, it was very cozy and engaging but we were not offer anything at any point, 0. Except for going hungry I was starting to get dehydrated as well. For me it was the first time at his place, so I didn't want to impose. My mouth started going seriously dry when finally my girlfriend popped the question: "Can I get something to drink?" It was a life saver!


In the evening it was the same at her mom's place. We came late, we agreed on the sleep-over. We did talk a bit, but not too long and we went to bed... and I was starving.


It is completely different when you arrange dinner plans. Then you will get a complete service, very nice meal and drinks, served table and the only thing that will be expected from you will be to help out with putting the table away after it is done and to help out with the dishes. You will definitely not go hungry. On the contrary, when dinner plans are put forward in advance, Danes are very hospitable. In most cases they will go out of their way and not only prepare food and drinks but they will go that extra mile to make a cozy atmosphere. Which is actually the moment where they will surpass an average Croatian host. Hospitality in Croatia is all about a nice food and drinks, good company and making the guests feel welcome but hygge is definitely not a big thing.


So, to conclude. When it comes to hospitality Danes are a bit split. If you arrange it in advance for a specific activity, prepare yourself to be amazed but otherwise brace yourself for a potential intermittent fasting. Which in it self isn't too bad if it lasts up to 8 hours but it is definitely not hygge.