Feed meeee, for I am starving!

About a month ago we were going to Herning for a weekend and our schedule was packed as it usually is. Herning is my girlfriends home town where she grew up and lived until couple of years ago so she wants to cram as many events as she possibly can in those two and a half days that we have. Plus she wanted to take me to Randers Regnskov.


So, we went to the "Danish Amazon" first and then to her friends place. And it was great, all of it! Randers Regnskov was a very unique experience and the conversation with her friend is always interesting. He is very insightful and sharp. We were sleeping at her moms place and we arrived there late, around 23:30. Even though it was a great day, I went to bed starving. The last time I had something to eat was around 2 o'clock in the afternoon. It was the first thing we did when we arrived to Randers Regnskov.


Why was I starving later? I was starving because the arrangements we made with her friend and her mom did not explicitly include eating. So no one offered and I didn't ask so I went hungry.


But why didn't I ask for food you might wonder? Well, one part of the reason is personal, I am a bit shy and I do not want to be an inconvenience to others. Other part is cultural. I come from a culture that is all about hospitality towards your guests. When you visit someone in Croatia after a minute or two of small-talk you will be shown to the room where socializing will take place and after another minute or two you will be asked what will you have for a drink? Even if the deal did not include food, there would be snacks and the host could ask you if you want to eat something real.


During the whole visit you will be catered all the time. The hosts will be serving drinks, snacks and food and they will be taking away used up plates and glasses. Guests in Croatia are treated as kings. Last summer when we visited my parents, at the beginning my girlfriend had a bit of a hard time with that custom because she is used to help out with stuff like that, especially with the dishes after the meal is over. So hospitality customs in Croatian and Danish cultures are very far away from each other.


When you are visiting Danes it can vary a lot based on what the arrangement is. So, on the day when I went starving, the arrangement was that we are going for a VISIT at her friends place. It was meant to be just talking. We came, we started talking, it was very cozy and engaging but we were not offer anything at any point, 0. Except for going hungry I was starting to get dehydrated as well. For me it was the first time at his place, so I didn't want to impose. My mouth started going seriously dry when finally my girlfriend popped the question: "Can I get something to drink?" It was a life saver!


In the evening it was the same at her mom's place. We came late, we agreed on the sleep-over. We did talk a bit, but not too long and we went to bed... and I was starving.


It is completely different when you arrange dinner plans. Then you will get a complete service, very nice meal and drinks, served table and the only thing that will be expected from you will be to help out with putting the table away after it is done and to help out with the dishes. You will definitely not go hungry. On the contrary, when dinner plans are put forward in advance, Danes are very hospitable. In most cases they will go out of their way and not only prepare food and drinks but they will go that extra mile to make a cozy atmosphere. Which is actually the moment where they will surpass an average Croatian host. Hospitality in Croatia is all about a nice food and drinks, good company and making the guests feel welcome but hygge is definitely not a big thing.


So, to conclude. When it comes to hospitality Danes are a bit split. If you arrange it in advance for a specific activity, prepare yourself to be amazed but otherwise brace yourself for a potential intermittent fasting. Which in it self isn't too bad if it lasts up to 8 hours but it is definitely not hygge.

How to kill a Croatian

Croats are very proud people and they hold their nation and national accomplishments in a very high esteem. They will say, full of pride, that they chased away the Turks (Ottoman Empire), French (Napoleon), Germans (WW2) and successfully defended against the Serbian aggression in the last war even though Serbia had the full might of ex-Jugoslavian army in control. When you hear it this way, you would think that Croatians are sturdy folk and that you shouldn't mess around with them.

But, there is also the other side of the medal. Croatians are also very soft and tender souls who are prone to succumb to ailments to which the rest of the world is immune. Unlike the rest of the human kind, while a Croat thrives in trenches and being under siege and will withstand it no problem for the indefinite amount of time, draft, direct contact with wet or/and cold surface without protection and exposure of his wet hair to cold outside air may cause his untimely and unexpected demise.

In Croatian culture, since your earliest age there are three things that are an absolute no no. They are more important then the 10 commandments and don't forget that Croatia is mostly Catholic country with very strong religious feelings. The 3 absolutely forbidden activities are:

1. Thou shall not sit in a draft!
2. Thou shall not sit on a cold or wet surface without one layer of protection!
3. Thou shall not leave the apartment with wet hair!

As I said, failure to abide by these three commandments may result in an untimely death.

In Croatian culture children are told by their parents, grandparents and all other care takers that failure to follow these three rules will always result in sickness. Whenever someone gets sick the conversation goes in accordance with these lines:

Sick person: " I am not feeling well. I have a slight fever, headache and I can't get out of bed. I have no energy for anything."

Healthy person: "But what did you do? Why did you get sick?"

Sick person: "I don't know, I was taking all the precautions."

Healthy person: "But the other day, when we were at your place didn't you make a draft?"

Sick person: " I did but it was because we needed to get that awful smell out of the apartment."

Healthy person: "And then we came and you forgot to close the window and you were sitting in the draft for hours. There you go, that is why you got sick."

In essence, when someone goes ill in Croatia and the Croatian think tank tries to pinpoint the source of the disease, they will inevitably be led to either draft, exposure of wet hair to the outside air or sitting outside without a protective layer between the but and the sitting surface, depending on what did the sick person do in the last couple of days. Croatians do not get sick from viruses or bacteria they get sick from the draft.

There is one caveat though. Sitting outside in the cold in the cafe bar does not count. That can't cause any diseases. The biggest culprit for getting sick in that category is concrete. If you sit with your but on a concrete surface without additional layer of protection will get you sick.

When a Croatian finds himself in such a situation he must apply one layer of some material between his but and the concrete surface. And you would be surprised how easy it is to protect oneself. All you need to do is put one plastic bag or one side of newspapers between your but and concrete in order to be safe from all kinds of nasty diseases that type of activity can cause.

So, if you have a Croatian national in your surroundings, of whom you are not particularly fond, invite him to your home for a coup of coffee. Coffee is the perfect lure for Croatians, offer him a seat next to the window and open another window at the opposite side of your apartment and watch him disappear into nothingness.

Corona crisis week 2

Today I feel uncomfortable raiding in the train. I boarded a train in 7:33 and it is empty. There is just one more person in the part of the train for bikes, it's a bit creepy. Usually the trains between 7 and 8 are packed! Sometimes you are even forced to stand in the doorway because there is no room anywhere else. That used to be annoying but now I wish if it went back to that. Copenhagen is empty as well. When the train drops me of in Copenhagen a bit before 8 the streets are usually packed with cars and cyclist, buses and s-trains are full (light railway) but now the city looks abandoned. The only change is the children. Since the schools closed down on Monday there is a significantly higher number of children on the streets of Copenhagen. And that kind of defies the purpose of the quarantine and I am not the only one that noticed it. A number of people started warning other that they should have better control of their children.
 

I must say that I am not handling well this worldwide panic state. I read about the virus, I am aware of risks, I am aware of precautionary measures I should take, it is fine. But what really rubs me of in a bad way is that there is a constant pressure about it. You can't snoop around the Facebook or Internet without every search having something to do with the crisis. Wherever you look there is only COVID-19, like nothing else is going on in the world but COVID-19.
 

Considering that stock markets are in the free fall, that mass firings have slowly started, for now in hotels and airline companies I feel lucky that I can still go to work normally. From 10:00 on March 18th all cafe bars, restaurants, pubs and all stores but grocery stores must close down. How long will that last, I don't know... nobody does. My friend from Germany told me that their government informed them that they can expect that quarantine measure will be in effect until approximately mid of October, so I guess we can expect the same. I read the other day that in Hong Kong people are under strict house quarantines that lasts for two months and will most likely go for another month. And I guess, this uncertainty about almost everything is the thing that has everyone worried.

For how long will the world stand still? After it passes, how many people world wide will be left without their livelihood? Will it all be worth it to fight against the disease that is dangerous only to elderly people and people who are immune compromised? To avoid potential criticism, numbers say that no children died from COVID-19. Death rates for people aged 10-39 are 0.2%, age 40-49 are 0.4%, age 50-59 are 1.3%. For older people it becomes seriously dangerous. Was it possible to somehow protect part of the population that is at high risk without stopping the whole societies? I don't know, I am not smart enough, I am just curious and asking questions. It seems that the countries which wanted to implement only precautionary measures, without implementing quarantine rules are getting backlash from the public.

22.03.2020

Denmark - 1395 corona virus cases, 13 deaths, 1 recovery

Croatia - 254 corona virus cases, 1 death, 5 recoveries

Source: https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/#countries

Counting coppers

While living in Croatia in one aspect I had a bad reputation. A lot of people thought I was a cheapskate that is counting coppers and is flipping every kuna (Croatian currency) three times over. I will admit, I am guilty as charged on that count. I always liked to have control over my money. I like to know how much I am earning and what are my living expenses. I also like to know what are my needs and what is fluff, what is the stuff I can live without.

It is not surprising that with my take on money I was considered a cheapskate. This take on money definitely isn't a cultural default in Croatia. As with a lot of other things, Croatians are relaxed with money. When you have money, you spend it, don't fuss about the future too much. When it runs out, we will somehow find a way. Live a little or why are you denying yourself so much was just some of things I would hear often. I was even keeping the budget, keeping track of my expenses and income and when people would see it, I would get a bewildering giggles about it.

When my ex-wife and me went on our own I started to run the budget. At first she was a bit reluctant but she went with it. But then, six years later when Croatia hit me on the head and I lost the job, she realized how useful it was, because we had savings and money wasn't an issue. Doing budget of course isn't something Croatians usually do as well. 

Another thing Croatians don't usually do is talk about money among family or friends or ever, except when they go bankrupt. Then they start but then is too little to late. In Denmark is quite the opposite. Starting position is that people are doing budget and talk about money. That way they know how much are they earning and where is the money going. Benefit of it is that it is much more difficult to find yourself in the situation where money just magically vanishes, a situation not that uncommon in my native country. But, of course these are cultural defaults, there are Danes who couldn't hold on to 1 krona if their life depended on it and Croatians who are careful with their kunas.

At first I was a bit surprised with this cultural difference. At first I was thinking, wouldn't it be reasonable to expect that Croatians will be more careful with money since they have less and it is harder to come by? But then I realized that my reasoning is going in the wrong direction. One of the reasons why Danes have more money is because they are much more careful with their spending, both on the individual level and the level of the state. Government debt in Denmark is around 35% of the GDP and in Croatia around 75% of the GDP.

I must say that in this aspect I fell more at home in Denmark then I ever did in Croatia where I was considered just as a cheapskate weirdo. My habit of "counting coppers" is taken as a given in Denmark. As my girlfriend told me: "Of course it is normal, what other way could we keep track of our money."

I will finish this entry with one Croatian proverb that goes: "It is easy to spend other people money." maybe that on it own says enough about the way an average Croatian take on money and the state of public finances in Croatia.

New Croatian caste system

Today I read another typical Croatian horror story. A lady works as a cook in a school. Couple of years into her employment a new main cook is employed. After the first year of his employment, sexual harassment starts. She goes to the school principal to report it, and the response that she gets is, that she is making it all up. The school immediately filed a counter lawsuit against her for stealing school property. She won that case and the verdict is final, she was declared innocent of the charges. One time she asks the offender: "but why do you do it? "Because nobody can touch me, I have the school principle under my control". The harassed lady filed the law suit against the harasser and won, but the verdict still isn't final. There is still the right to appeal to the supreme court. Since the harassment began, years have passed. The harasser is still working in the same school - still doing his thing.

Major of Split between 2009 - 2013

This is only one of many stories of the same type from Croatia. The pattern is the following; a person of influence - be it a politician, a business man or their family members - commits a serious crime on the level of; murder in the first or second degree, embezzlement of the huge amount of money, fraud, harassment, blatant ignoring of laws etc. Institutions do the work and file a lawsuit - no need to mention the case is clear as daylight, even to someone with the IQ of the room temperature.

Consequences? None. In most cases years or even decades later, judicial proceedings are still not over, the final verdicts still haven't been reached or the trials have been rolled back to the start. In some cases, there are verdicts with a laughable punishment (fx. one of the former ministers was charged with embezzlement of tens of millions of HRK Čobanković, and the sentence was one year in jail that was replaced with volunteer work). In other cases, people in power just blatantly breach the laws and nothing is happening (fx. second person in command of University of Zagreb refuses to go to retirement after he passed all the legal limits of the age when you must retire by law).

On the other hand, you have normal, every day people that are not in a position of power; that do some minor infringement of the Croatian law, people who suffered injustice, people in need of a special care or just normal young people fresh out of school trying to make a living.

Consequences? Severe! If you live in Croatia and you are not in a position of power, you don't want to be in a situation where you need the "services" of the Croatian legal system. Just to mention some short examples. In 2015, lady in Osijek was arrested and taken to a police station because she crossed a street on a red light. 

Son of a businessman that was financing the strongest political party in Croatia, killed two high school girls because of speeding. After two years and annulled judicial proceeding, the killer got a reduced sentence by six months - that was later reduced even further - that needed to be served in a open correctional facility. Justice for the families of the killed girls? Who cares when they are not coming from a good Croatian family, right?

A number of my friends, fresh out of university, were looking for any jobs for years and couldn't find any. Finally they left and guess what? They got on their feet fast and are living successful lives in whichever country they decided to go - but there was no place for any of them in Croatia. 

Conclusion, when you are not in a position of power in Croatia, legal system will not protect you, police will not protect you and your career opportunities are very limited if you are not from a good family.

All of this made me thinking; didn't Croatia somehow develop a caste system? There is a clear pattern in Croatian society: if you were born in a family with a position of power, all the doors will be open for you and no matter what shit you cause, there will be no consequences. You are just beyond the reach of the law and Croatia is your playground.

On the other hand if you are an average Joe, or God forbid, skilled or talented without connections, your life options are crippled. There are loads of stories of talented Croatians who just would not get the lucky break in Croatia... but when they left all the doors opened for them. The last one I read was about a young opera singer. In Croatia he struggled. After he finished his education he couldn't even get a small and insignificant role in an opera. Then he applied for the scholarship in La Scala, Milan. Now he is singing with the most famous opera singers in the world. At the same time Croatian national opera is in the free fall. Guess what? Talent doesn't matter, but family does. 

I could tell a million similar stories. Is it really surprising that the quality of all institutions is going down in Croatia? Of course not! In a new Croatian caste system, family is all and talent and skill are nothing.

Agency for legalization of illegally built buildings

More then 300.000 Croatians left the country since 2013, all the doors for them were closed. Number of employed people in public and state companies rose since cousins need to work. How will it end? Either it will snap at the point when the money runs out or Croatia will become a pleasant country for cousins and summer holiday. I mean, isn't administrative personnel in Croatia, just a really expensive kind of social support?

But let's end this entry on a positive note. Do you know why there is no sex in Croatian state administration? Because everybody is related.