New Croatian caste system

Today I read another typical Croatian horror story. A lady works as a cook in a school. Couple of years into her employment a new main cook is employed. After the first year of his employment, sexual harassment starts. She goes to the school principal to report it, and the response that she gets is, that she is making it all up. The school immediately filed a counter lawsuit against her for stealing school property. She won that case and the verdict is final, she was declared innocent of the charges. One time she asks the offender: "but why do you do it? "Because nobody can touch me, I have the school principle under my control". The harassed lady filed the law suit against the harasser and won, but the verdict still isn't final. There is still the right to appeal to the supreme court. Since the harassment began, years have passed. The harasser is still working in the same school - still doing his thing.

Major of Split between 2009 - 2013

This is only one of many stories of the same type from Croatia. The pattern is the following; a person of influence - be it a politician, a business man or their family members - commits a serious crime on the level of; murder in the first or second degree, embezzlement of the huge amount of money, fraud, harassment, blatant ignoring of laws etc. Institutions do the work and file a lawsuit - no need to mention the case is clear as daylight, even to someone with the IQ of the room temperature.

Consequences? None. In most cases years or even decades later, judicial proceedings are still not over, the final verdicts still haven't been reached or the trials have been rolled back to the start. In some cases, there are verdicts with a laughable punishment (fx. one of the former ministers was charged with embezzlement of tens of millions of HRK Čobanković, and the sentence was one year in jail that was replaced with volunteer work). In other cases, people in power just blatantly breach the laws and nothing is happening (fx. second person in command of University of Zagreb refuses to go to retirement after he passed all the legal limits of the age when you must retire by law).

On the other hand, you have normal, every day people that are not in a position of power; that do some minor infringement of the Croatian law, people who suffered injustice, people in need of a special care or just normal young people fresh out of school trying to make a living.

Consequences? Severe! If you live in Croatia and you are not in a position of power, you don't want to be in a situation where you need the "services" of the Croatian legal system. Just to mention some short examples. In 2015, lady in Osijek was arrested and taken to a police station because she crossed a street on a red light. 

Son of a businessman that was financing the strongest political party in Croatia, killed two high school girls because of speeding. After two years and annulled judicial proceeding, the killer got a reduced sentence by six months - that was later reduced even further - that needed to be served in a open correctional facility. Justice for the families of the killed girls? Who cares when they are not coming from a good Croatian family, right?

A number of my friends, fresh out of university, were looking for any jobs for years and couldn't find any. Finally they left and guess what? They got on their feet fast and are living successful lives in whichever country they decided to go - but there was no place for any of them in Croatia. 

Conclusion, when you are not in a position of power in Croatia, legal system will not protect you, police will not protect you and your career opportunities are very limited if you are not from a good family.

All of this made me thinking; didn't Croatia somehow develop a caste system? There is a clear pattern in Croatian society: if you were born in a family with a position of power, all the doors will be open for you and no matter what shit you cause, there will be no consequences. You are just beyond the reach of the law and Croatia is your playground.

On the other hand if you are an average Joe, or God forbid, skilled or talented without connections, your life options are crippled. There are loads of stories of talented Croatians who just would not get the lucky break in Croatia... but when they left all the doors opened for them. The last one I read was about a young opera singer. In Croatia he struggled. After he finished his education he couldn't even get a small and insignificant role in an opera. Then he applied for the scholarship in La Scala, Milan. Now he is singing with the most famous opera singers in the world. At the same time Croatian national opera is in the free fall. Guess what? Talent doesn't matter, but family does. 

I could tell a million similar stories. Is it really surprising that the quality of all institutions is going down in Croatia? Of course not! In a new Croatian caste system, family is all and talent and skill are nothing.

Agency for legalization of illegally built buildings

More then 300.000 Croatians left the country since 2013, all the doors for them were closed. Number of employed people in public and state companies rose since cousins need to work. How will it end? Either it will snap at the point when the money runs out or Croatia will become a pleasant country for cousins and summer holiday. I mean, isn't administrative personnel in Croatia, just a really expensive kind of social support?

But let's end this entry on a positive note. Do you know why there is no sex in Croatian state administration? Because everybody is related.

Come what may but I need to leave this place

It was the winter morning on 27th of January 2019 and 3 months passed since I started torturing my ex-wife, my soon to be new girlfriend and myself and I have finally decided. I have been finally deciding a lot of things often and all were final in these last three months, but this time it was final for real:

"So, have you made up your mind?"

"Yes, all my instincts are telling me that I need to go without you."

With these words I erased everything we have been building together for the last 18 years and this time I was sure, but my words had so little weight at that point. I have changed my mind so many times, I have been tearing myself apart for three weeks:

"I am sitting in the car now and leaving now, because I have to! But you can't, you have your friends here, you have your family here, everything you have built is here, your wife is here and everything is ok with you two, you can't do it to her, you just can't abandon it all." Every day, for three weeks, two times a day, these were the thoughts going through my head. After a while I would be so worn out by it that I would just throw myself on the floor crying in despair and then compose myself by the time my wife, at the time came home.

Since I was so insecure in these three months and changed my decisions so often, I told myself that I need to prove it to myself and to others, especially to Al'shadar, that this is it now, I am doing it for sure. I told her that I will start with preparations to leave for Denmark sometimes in the middle of February and that I will prove every step of the way and document it to her, or to me? I needed to do this for me as well, since my words had so little weight at the time.

And I did it, every day something: documents, apartment in Copenhagen, planning the trip, getting rid of stuff, packing, seeing friends, losing friends, disappointing friends, making my family cry. It was insane, scary, devastating, destructive, ugly, beautiful, exhilarating all at the same time. But finally after two and a half years I had a goal, a purpose, I finally knew what needed to be done and I did it! I am leaving for Denmark on 10th of February.

And that morning came, my whole life was in that car, it was so unreal and purifying at the same time. You actually realize, at moments like these, how much useless stuff you have and with how little you can actually live and be happy.

I was driving of to Denmark on February 10th but I was leaving the old apartment on February 9th. My ex-wife asked me to leave on that day I wanted to respect her wishes. I was the one who messed it up and made the call and she was the one who was super supportive to the very end. That last hour was devastating, I was aware that this is the last time I will be in this apartment, that I will see, I guess my ex-dog, that I loved soo much, my turtles that will get a new home in two weeks! My heart was broken but my determination was unquestionable. First you must destroy the old if you want to build something new. And I did! And it hurt like hell but it was necessary!

I sat in the car and drove of to a gas station first: "What have I done! I have destroyed everything and there is no turning back now!" But there was no turning back now for good 2 weeks and I new this. Off to a coffee with a friend: "OMG this is great! The best decision ever! Let's do this!" All of this was going through my head in a time span of 10 minutes but after the horror of leaving passed, there was peace and just the brave new world and a new life for me to build as I please. That's why all the destruction of everything was worth every second and I would do it again.

I said goodbye to a friend, my grandparents and went to spend the night with my parents for the last time... still feels surreal and that feeling will stay with me for some time. The more time passes the less frequent it is but it still pops up from time to time, both for me and Al'shadar.

The moment has come, last "systems check", fire up the engine and go... after 50 meters: "Oh shit, where is the passport!" I am stopping the car on a step hill... ufff it's ok it is here. Let's go! IIIII am DOING IT!!!! After 2 kilometers all the lights on the control panel lit up! "O c'mon! Don't give up on me now! We have been to so many places together, you can't fail me now! Ok, ok I will stop at the bus stop, turn it off and on again, it just needs a reset, it will be ok." Gravel crunching as the car is stopping and the gentle hum of the diesel engine dies, the car is off... One click, two clicks, crank it all the way, engine sputtering and... IT'S WORKING!!! IT'S WORKING!!! Bye, bye Croatia, see you... sometime but not soon.

Denmark here I come!!!