Common courtesy in public

Last week I had an encounter, that reminded me of one thing that Danes are particularly bad at. They are bad at some basic common courtesy to others in public spaces. I will immediately say that I am not generalizing but just describing my experiences that repeated at least couple of times. It is funny that I am writing about this, since I was the one who was considered a bit rude with some of my behaviors in public spaces back in Croatia. But on the other hand, maybe that gives some weight to my observations. If my basic levels of politeness in public is low and I repeatedly observe behavior in public spaces that is too much even for me, then maybe there is something to it.

Walking on the right side of the sidewalk

This is one of those very basic things that strike me like Danes don't get. On main train station in Copenhagen you even have arrows showing the directions that instructs people in which way to walk after they get off the train and it is in line with the rule "walk on the right side of the street". I guess if it needs to be drawn it obviously isn't something a lot of people know. First time I noticed this social peculiarity was before the corona times, back in the day when the trains were crowded and people rude. I was walking on the right side of the sidewalk and I had to do a 90 degree blind turn into the corner. As I was doing that I almost walked straight into a person who was trying to do the same but he was walking on his left side of the sidewalk, just as the whole group of people that just got of the train. And none of them cared that I can't walk straight. After that one event I started paying attention to that and I figured out that a lot of Danes don't quite grasp the concept but interestingly enough, foreigners do.

Shopping

Shopping often feels like a battle for survival. Usually in Denmark, personal space is a bit bigger than in Croatia, but not in the supermarkets. If you are taking your sweet time while browsing through the wares and there is someone who wants the same thing as you do, they will just but in, shove you to the side, take what they want and go without looking back or apologizing. I guess, I don't need to mention that the ware in question isn't the last one in the store.

Waiting in line for the cash register always feels like the store is about to close down and people behind you will not be able to pay before that happens and they will loose all the things they wanted to buy. They stand so close that you can feel them breathing down your necks. If you forgot, by any chance, to put down the separator, you are in for a treat. They will take it, slam it as close as possible to your stuff and a give you a passive-aggressive look that screams: "You will not do this again!"

Going to guests

Dinners in Danish households are very cozy, no doubts about that, but they can be a bit glitchy at the start. It takes some time for coziness to kick in. When you arrive for a dinner, most often, you will be invited into the house/apartment but after that you will not be invited into the kitchen/living room or any other place in the house/apartment where the dinner is taking place. Often I found myself standing uncomfortably at the entry to the apartment and waiting for something to happen. When that part would pass and we would be invited to the room where the dinner is taking place some time would pass before you would be offered a beverage. Sometimes, my mouth started to go seriously dry for an extended period of time so I had to ask for a drink before I was offered one. But after these starting glitches it goes into the cozy mode. After a couple of beers it goes very cozy :D. It seems like there are no social norms about how to act/proceed at the time people enter your house or the apartment.

P. S. When you are visiting a danish household for the first time, do not bring presents! It is considered impolite, unless you know their taste specifically.

Other public spaces

Some things that I was taught as a kid about how to be polite to other people when you are outside are just void in Denmark. In trains people will not get up and offer a seat to a pregnant women, a woman with a small child or an elderly person. Everybody just runs in to grab their seats and avoids further eye contact with anyone.

Couple of times I also experienced doors being slammed to my face when it was clear that I am going to the same entrance as the person in front of me. That person would acknowledge that by establishing eye contact and would still let the doors close straight in my face. I had the same experience with elevators. On numerous occasions I was approaching the elevator door and the person inside would just look me straight into the eyes and slam them shut. Like those two seconds that she would wait for me would be time lost that could never be replaced.

What I find very interesting is that the corona crisis rules actually regulated interactions in public spaces and made interactions with others much more pleasant. Keep the distance rule prevents a number of situations that I mentioned from ever happening. Finally there is a rule for behavior in public spaces that Danes can follow and they do take pride in obedience to their government. Before they were just completely lost in socially unregulated public spaces. Maybe Mette should consider keeping the rule in place even after the corona crisis passes, if only for interactions in public spaces outside of events. It will make for a much cozier experience in public.