Loneliness

Stand together by being apart. That is the promotional statement by which Denmark is trying to promote social distancing. But the more time passes the more skeptical I am becoming about how long can that actually be upheld. Because it is going against one fundamental human instinct and that is sociability. We are social animals and that is a fact. If you look back way into the past, way back before modern society, early civilizations, even before agriculture, humans lived in small groups with up to approximately 150 people. So, I guess it is safe to say, metaphorically, that being social is written into our DNA. And today we are being asked not to do it. Today, when we took our social instincts to unprecedented levels, where approximately 55% of human population lives in cities we are asked not to hang out with others. The reasons are completely justified, I do not doubt that for a second. I am just wondering how long we can keep it up? Asking people to do social distancing is not so far away from asking a fish not to swim.

This line of thought started yesterday when my girlfriends sister dropped by. It was the first human I have seen, other then my girlfriend in weeks, if I don't count work and public transport. And I can feel that it is getting to me and my social needs are low. I am an introvert who is perfectly happy with socializing one or two times per week, three times is pushing it and four times is too much. If I am starting to feel it, I can only imagine how difficult it must be for people with higher social needs than mine. Yesterday I talked to a friend who has higher social needs than I do. He told me that when it gets to him, he goes to company offices to have a cup of coffee, but that just gets the edge off. He is having a hard time not hanging out with people.

At least gamers have it easier. We know there are social spaces that are perfectly safe and quarantine approved, where we can be social and where we can play in big groups without breaching the quarantine. I do find it a bit ironic. Until my mid twenties, I would often hear from non gamers: how can you do it, you are just staring in that screen all day, you are wasting your life away etc, etc. Do I need to mention that most of the people at that time were watching television in the same amount I spent gaming? Well, now I am the responsible citizen. So, if you want to hang out with me and be socially responsible, you can find me on Azeroth.

I made a little digression... Let us go back to "real" socializing. How long can you ask born socialites not to socialize? I would say not much longer. And you can slowly tell. Last Friday when I went out to throw the trash, main street in Roskilde was decently full of people. There wasn't as many of them as before the quarantine times but noticeably more. Weather is beautiful, quarantine is up for some time now, of course that people started to slowly give up on it. They just can't take it any more. And people from Scandinavia are good at following rules and regulations and they trust in their governments. So when they are slowly starting to give in, you know it has been a bit too long.

But as societies slowly start to reopen, one problem will still remain, at least in Denmark. Ban on public gatherings for 10 or more people will stay at least until August. So we will be able to see our friends and family but all fun will be put on hold. So we will be able to work and be home and see people one by one but no fun? How long will that last? We are not machines that can just work, work, work. Even Danes need recreational activities from time to time. Their amazing working ethics is necessarily standing in stark contrast to hygge. They will kill themselves working but when they are of, they are off. With a ban on public gatherings way into August will severely restrict their possibilities to be off. In the old Rome it was known that if you want to win public approval you need to provide bread and circus "Panem et circenses". By the time this whole corona thing is over, a lot of people will lose their bread and circuses will remain closed until further notice. We do not have a lot to look forward to, until the end of summer. Work if you are lucky and... nothing, no fun until corona is done and dusted and that can take a while.